What’s in a Book ? - isbn 978-1-894897-25-9

What’s in a book ? and anyways, why are books so magical ? I've some thoughts on the matter and may at this point share them.

A book is a containment system for knowledge. Whether it be a clay tablet, scroll, codex or electronic application; a book is a compartmental unit of specific information. The information contained may be of any level of importance, everything and anything; understanding modern plumbing, instructions for burning witches, recipes for delicious cakes and pies, poetry, history, nonfiction, and fairy tales. Irregardless of relevance, form or content, engaging with a book is an act of revelation. Open up the covers, and we are in, experiencing the word, entertained, and enlightened.

This wise stuff aside, the book in codex form has another, more inappropriate function. It can be used to conceal an object. This old chestnut... take a big book in hard covers, one seldom opened, commonly the Bible. Open the book and cut holes in the pages , until you have created enough usable space, to hide something important. Place your secret object in the book, close the covers, and place the book on a bookshelf. Excellent! you have successfully hidden the goods in a manner no one will ever suspect.

Now that I've given you the background information, this is what you are looking at. A book, a medal, my latest publication: The Robert Reid Medal, to be precise. The medal was commissioned by the Alcuin Society and named after Robert Reid, a pioneer in Canadian book design. Presented nationally, the Robert Reid Medal celebrates lifetime achievement in book creation. The design was carved by my hand then cast in bronze at the studio of my colleague Jess Sarber. After the medals were cast, each one was hand finished by me. This work was completed in an edition of 25 with 5 artists proofs.

Regarding the revelatory and concealing power of books, it seemed most fitting, to encase each medal in this manner. Within this context the medal becomes a dimensional illustration, and since I've taken to publication as an act of contemporary art, it would be reasonable to assign an ISBN to this project. The book itself consists of an essay written by Yosef Wosk, regarding the value of a life spent in creation. The typography was designed electronically, burned into polymer plates, then printed and bound at Black Stone Press. A purpose built and published work to simultaneously protect and reveal a lifetime of excellence.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

The Royal Canadian Snowflake Collection

The Royal Canadian Snowflake Collection came to me in the vision of a flurry, wind hustling silver snowflakes, swirling, dancing, everlasting. Every snowflake in the collection is sculpted by my hand, then permanently cast in sterling silver. The collection is produced exclusively through sponsorship, like discovering a new star, sponsors get to name their snowflake.

Sponsors receive the first snowflake cast, to keep or give to a friend. The first snowflake is signed and delivered, as a pendant or lapel pin, it's name engraved on the back. The pictorial collection is updated periodically, each snowflake pictured includes the name of the sponsor and the name of their snowflake. We are all Royal Canadians and sponsoring a snowflake is easy, to find out more please visit. http://royalcanadiansnowflake.com

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats
* Hats off to Wilson Bentley, for inspiration and a life well spent.

Faire Dodo, perchance to dream... in sterling

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have heard it said that, “faire dodo” means nighty-night in french.

Regarding the sterling Dodo, at some point I published ‘The Last Dodo’, complete with cast sterling medal, isbn, rhyme and dedication. The text portion of this work was reproduced in ‘Brussels Sprouts & Unicorns’. Here’s a taste of the medal for your perusal, The model was first carved in hematite, by my hand using diamonds and water, it was then cast in sterling , hand finished, then signed. Each and every dodo is slightly different, an original work of art, to be worn as jewelry. Own one, if it pleases you...

for $180.00 Canadian Dollars
* shipping included

Word to Ralfe Whistler, Happy Belated Dodo. Eighty is a grand age indeed, to be riding bicycles, chasing our favorite Romaphile, and hunting dodo's. Well done!

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

Bull Moose in Alpine Space: Magna Carta du Canada

Magna Carta du Canada. Let the free and wild peoples of this nation reign supreme. Let the majesty of wild lands blind all suburban vision. Let taxation be paid directly to the land which sustains us; to the mountains, plains, forests, rivers, lakes, streams, and seas. Let the seed of legend be planted in wilderness, that we might hunt together and build a society, which is as elegant as the trees, and as happy as my animal friends.

This 40”x 60” brush drawing depicts Bull Moose in Alpine Space; it is the result of a conversation I had with my friend, patron , and colleague, Peter Lattimer. You may notice this picture has a lot of wild space, and that it has been populated with my favorite Canadian animal friends. Beaver is sitting on his lodge, Grizzly mother and cub are taking the time to reflect, Mountain Goat is overlooking the entire vista, while the birds migrate left. Complete with teeth, antlers, horns, and tails, my animals are anatomically correct; after all this is fine art, which means respect has to be paid to naturalistic representation.

Photo Credit: Mel Yap

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

cribbageridoo

So it's summer and you’re in Canada. Some people drink Gin & Tonic, while others throw lawn darts. Some people play horse shoes, swim, sun bathe naked, or drink beer & fight the black flies. There’s fishing, and hang gliding, and hiking and then; there’s the Bad Assest, grand daddy, of all pastimes... Cribbage. What better way to while away those too hot summer nights than in an intoxicated, card counting, rhyme timing, stupor ? It’s a backwoods groove, fifteen two fifteen four, and the rest don’t score ... fifteen six , fix, and the rest don’t mix...“honey, are we all out of mix ? ”

Speaking of mix here’s ‘Cribbageridoo’ a Cribbage board I worked on with my friend Jim Smerdon, I’d do anything for that man. He is truly remarkable, and when he asked me to help him with this project, I immediately agreed. After Jim and I wrangled the wood, Jim cut it to length and drilled all of the holes, then he gave it to me for a paint job. I was as surprised by the final results as anyone, and ultimately pleased with the Abo-critter dream time vibe. Complete with some new Cribbage rhymes, skunk-punk, Funky Monkey Double Skunkie, Finish in victory, ants in your pants, everyone does the finishing dance.

Thanks Jim.

Photo Credit: Jim Smerdon

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
copy cats are dirty rats

Minted Proof...

This ancient silver coin is a hobo nickel, adjusted for inflation; it was minted in Canada, circa the mid 20th century. That was a long time ago, and back then we could still see majestic herds of wild Unicorn running along by the sea. The Unicorn range is much smaller now and the population is protected by the Royal Canadian Government. Making a token effort to prevent the extinction of this noble beast.

Fifty Cent Pieces are treasured and hoarded by Canadians, who feel this coin carries with it’s provenance, a value greater than it’s denomination. I added value to this fifty cent piece by first, grinding and polishing one side, then I engraved it with the oath from ‘Brussels Sprouts & Unicorns’. Simultaneously an objet d’art, and minted proof of the existence of Unicorns. You can specify the date of the coin, anything minted before 1967 is made of silver.

If it pleases you I'll make one and deliver it
for $ 360.00 Canadian dollars

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

The Carrot & The Stick Routine

Carrot and stick, stick and carrot; simultaneously they speak to Pavlovian response conditioning and the general theory of rabbit hunting. That said, this will be a 24 karat lesson in gold, and just how to determine, how much gold is in that thing anyways ? It’s grade 5 math, so don’t worry if you get bored and start doodling or looking out the window. 24 karat is for all intents and purposes, 100% gold, expressed as a fraction this is 24/24. When you look at a piece of jewelry you might see a stamp denoting the purity of gold. 18k, 14k, 10k are pretty often seen, and expressed as fractions, these are 18/24, 14/24, and 10/24 respectively. These fractions can be converted to percentages. If you know the weight of a piece of gold jewelry, and the percentage of gold that is in it, you can easily calculate how much gold there is. Try it sometime, it’s fun.

Sometimes we forget our friends in the vegetable kingdom. My friend Jesse Sarber, kindly suggested that I make a carrot to go with my other precious metal vegetables. And so I did, this unique creation is a necklace, made from colored gold and sterling silver. The carrot is made from 9k rose gold and 14k green gold. The central stick is 16k yellow gold, the toggle ring is 14k yellow gold, and the stick chain is sterling silver. I sculpted the carrot and leaf bail in epoxy resin, then cast them using the lost wax method. The sticks for the chain were found in trees, and then cast using the lost stick method. The lost stick method is interesting, as it guarantees that no two pieces will ever be the same. Delicious, free range, organic jewelry, made by my hand, for your enjoyment.



photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

Goliath: Humble Beginnings

What good is art, if it is not a language one can use to back talk a Renaissance master or carry on the conversation with cave painters ? I got it in my head to sculpt ‘Goliath’, that means I get to go head to head with ‘David ’, it’s biting off a lot, and these are my humble beginnings. I'm building the armature with cardboard, packing tape, and hot glue, Michelangelo never had it so good :) it is my plan to do as much as I can with these materials, before putting on the “skin”, using space age epoxy resin, further, it is my intention to cast ‘Goliath’ as a monumental bronze.

Goliath was the champion of the Philistines, and there is only one thing to be done with a head. I’ll be updating this project with subsequent posts so you can monitor my progress.

Photo Credit: Mel Yap

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

Good Books Well Made

This is the coat of arms of the Alcuin society, the motto is Latin for “good books well made”. The Alcuin Society recognizes excellence in book design with an annual competition. Mostly in celebration of fine books and rare letterpress productions, the chief exception being the children’s books category. All of the publishers in Canada submit their kids books to this competition, this year there was 53 titles in the running. I submitted ‘Brussels Sprouts & Unicorns’ and am pleased to report that it placed first. Thanks to Sian Pairaudeau, and Scott Hawthorn, for helping me publish this book. Also, thanks to Leah Gordon for organizing the competition.

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

Goat, Judas Goat

I painted a text mural at Judas Goat Taberna. It's Gastown, what can I say, who can argue with Blood Alley ? it's a great place. Interesting views of the city's very own ornamental hermitage, from the comfort of clean well lit spaces, and fine dining. My writing sometimes poses difficulty for the uninitiated so the following comprises the body of text; it speaks to the problems faced by judas goats, when government regulations protect corporate interests, with respect to food production.

Goat, Judas Goat. Pleased to meet you. Welcome to my place. Please sit down, have a drink, and a bite to eat. Enjoy yourself, relax. You deserve it. It’s rough out there, and I ought to know. I had a nervous breakdown, victim of my own success really. On stress leave, and thinking about rolling this into a sweet retirement. It was simple back in the day, when farmers were allowed gate sales, the meat you ate came from one animal. Every so often I would lead a herd of spring lamb to the truck or a few cows to the slaughterhouse. Things got busy later, operations got bigger, increased demand and I was working steady, every day busy. The money was good, up at Seven, get my stink on, take a load of sheep to the truck, move 30 head of cattle, break for lunch, then back for more cows, a coffee, a few more sheep, and knock off at five for a cold one. Like I said, the money was good. Then one day, THEN ONE DAY!! The government changed the laws, no more gate sales, each and every animal slaughtered had to be taken to an abattoir. I was working insane hours. No lunch. No coffee. They upsized and I was head of the largest department in history. Crazy making. Up at four thirty, meet the team by teleconference. Each moving six hundred head of cattle by seven. Don’t even mention the sheep. Millions, literally. The stress was giving me an ulcer. By the time the cows went nuts, I walked. We take it slow here, it’s peaceful. The food is good. The company is excellent.

Globe Review
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

GANjA CLAUSE - ISBN 1-894897-11-0

GANjA CLAUSE: THE GREEN MAN
A TWENTY-FiRST CENTURY ADDiTiON TO THE HiNDU PANTHEON

Not wanting to acquire cannabinoid induced schizophrenia, I gave up the leaf for Lent. That said, at one point I studied art history and learned how to write in the academic style. Having always been interested in the Green Man, it seemed appropriate to make this version, like some baked hybrid of Bob Marley & The Bhagwan. This hard stone objet d’art was carved by my hand using diamonds and water. Made from a Shiv lingam, it represents a personification of the hemp plant, for these reasons it would be reasonable to make claim that.This green man, ‘Ganja Clause’, is the western most incarnation of Shiva. Through morphological, theological, and whimsical associations ‘Ganja Clause’ makes a fitting contemporary addition to Hindu mythology.

Morphology:
Fertility is associated with Shiva, and the phallus or lingam is accepted as a symbol of Shiva *. ‘Ganja Clause’ was carved from a Shiv-lingam, a stone, composed of crypto-crystaline quartz.These stones are found only in the Narmada river in India, a sacred site of pilgrimage **. The stones are only accessible in the dry season and are hand shaped to harmonious proportions. The shape represents the male principal, Lingam*. The coloration in the stone occurs naturally and represents the female principal, Yoni*. When carving ‘Ganja Clause’, I worked with the natural coloration of the stone to accentuate the design. The red end and yellow banding in the stone were incorporated into a hat; while the bulk of the stone, being green, was used to define the visage and hempy hair.
* Roy C Craven
*Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom
* Vatsayana/Burton
*ibid

Theology:
Cannabis use is associated with Shiva in the Hindu Religion.*
The Hindu God head is composed of Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu. Brahma the creator, Shiva the destroyer, and Vishnu the preserver. Shiva is the god, in whose domain exists all manner of calamity and good time. The ritual use of cannabis in combination with tantric sex originates at some point in medieval India. Vedic scripture makes mention of a sacred nectar, Amrita. This may have originally been a species of psychedelic mushroom, but was replaced by cannabis between the 7th -11th centuries*. The marijuana is mixed into a yogurt milkshake called a bhang-lasse, and combined with yoga and tantric sex.
* Schultes, Hofman
* Aldrich

Whimsy:
Ganja Clause is the western most incarnation of Shiva, he has two green thumbs. Thumbs up for the crop, Thumbs down for the law. Green and leafy are his dreads and beard, his hempy hat is red and gold. Ganja Clause has a secret grow-op located in the far west, where his little helpers Tokey, Munchie, and Giggles, help to harvest and separate the buds from the shake. After each harvest Ganja Clause loads up his El Camino and delivers to all the good boys and girls. Ganja Clause is far too busy to check any lists, so everyone remember to be nice please. Ganja Clause is winking because he has a Mrs. Ganja Clause, who is a juicy fruit, just like Watermelon. *

Bibliography:

* Roy C Craven
Indian Art. p16
Thames and Hudson Ltd. London, 1976
ISBN O-5OO-2O146-3
* Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom
Lucasfilm, 1984
* The Kama Sutra of Vatsayana
Translated by Richard Burton 18OO

* Richard Evans Schultes, Albert Hofmann
Plants of the Gods, p 92
Healing Arts Press, Rochester, VT, 1992
ISBN O89281-979-O
*Aldrich, Michael R.
tantric Cannabis Use in India.
J. Psychedelic Drugs 9(3):227-233. 1977

* Watermelon
Cannabis Culture, #5O: Cover. 2OO4
Vancouver, BC.
ISSN 1497-8237
* Watermelon
High Times, #3O1: Cover. 2OOO
New York, NY.
ISSN O362-63OX


robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmiv. copy cats are dirty rats

Brussels Sprout Magic (contemporary art as genre)

‘The Brussels Sprout Testimonial’ isbn 1-894897-09-9

“Sing and shout and dance about,

there's magic in the Brussels sprout,

boiled up and served in butter,
baked into a pie,

I love to eat the Brussels sprout,

to go without would make me cry.

Have faith and never ever doubt,

there's magic in the Brussels sprout,

in cheese sauce or in minestrone,

I will stand and Testify,

I love to eat the Brussels sprout,

to go without I'd rather die!” *

This Sterling Silver Brussels Sprout was given out as an annual award by my excellent friend Barbara-Jo. To honour the chef who made the best cookbook. This award began in 2007, and was given to:
Matthew Stowe, ‘ The Tastes of Sonora Resort ’
Jennifer McLagan,‘ Fat: An Appreciation of a Misunderstood Ingredient, With Recipes ’
John Bishop, ‘ Simply Bishop’s ’
Vikram Vij, ‘Vij’s: ‘ Elegant and Inspired Indian Cuisine ’

This precious metal vegetable is also made available to private collectors. To order yours and become a silver sprout farmer, simply contact me by email robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

photo credit: Jennifer McLagan

*-rhyme available in ‘Brussels Sprouts & Unicorns- library edition’
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

PROOViNG THE EXiSTENCE OF UNiCORNS

Testimonial evidence of Brussels Sprouts and Proof of the existence of Unicorns. They Live in Canada, & once you've sworn the oath you will be able to see Unicorns in the most surprising places, My friend Sian saw one at the passport office ! In any event, the book launch was a success. To see more Brussels Sprouts and Unicorns please visit www.libraryeditions.com

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

OFFiCiAL SELECTiON

Ten Counting Cat -The motion picture from robert chaplin on Vimeo.

This is the Michigan Theatre, it’s in Ann Arbor Michigan. Home of the world renowned Ann Arbor Film Festival. I was very lucky to be able to attend this festival, as it so happened to be that my film, ‘Ten Counting Cat-the motion picture’ was selected for screening. This was the world premiere of my first film, and my first film festival. Over the course of a week I met many excellent people and made friends in Ann Arbor. When in Ann Arbor I stayed at the home of Roland Neynaber, a most excellent host. I fell in love with the community, this was a truly unforgettable experience...

I had help making my film and would like to thank those people on my blog. Hobo Divine, Bill Schwarz, Lisa Ovens, Laurie MacMillan, Scott Bucsis, Sue Hill, Lorne Jee, Blessing Mubaiwa, Clayton Gunguwo, Lance Burger, Bardel Animation and The NFB. I could not have attended the film festival if it had not been for the generosity of my excellent friend, patron, & partner in crime, Lisa Southam.

Photo Credit: Roland Neynaber
robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

THE ANCESTORS LiKED iT, WE STiLL DO

Elegance, it would be my greatest pleasure to express, in stone and theme, the feelings which move us to rapture, peals of laughter, tears of joy, and quiet satisfaction. However, this post concerns much darker magic. And so, let’s cast our thoughts to more occult practices, shamanism, and the markets...

Upon close inspection, beyond the mathematics and technical jargon, the markets are filled with rich mythology. The language of magic, superstition abound. A “ dead cat bounce ” happens after a stock has hit bottom, but before it goes completely flat.“ The Bear ” is the market going down , “ The Bull ” is the market going up. Then there is the “ triple witching hour ”, on “ triple witching day ” , when all hell breaks loose. Face reality, market speculation is a form of gambling; so if you’re going down that path, you will need all the luck you can muster, and the stones to follow the timeless edict, “ buy when there is blood in the street” -Baron Rothschild

These carvings in hematite, were made by my hand, using diamonds and water. This bear and bull are talismans, animist representations of the binary godhead of the market. They are carved in three dimensional relief and signed by my trademark. Please note, the peaceful and joyous expressions. Free from the anxiety, which has of late caused the ruin of many traders: the bull is at peace because selling gives one liquid freedom, the bear is happy because the sweetness of the trade is determined at the point of purchase, the good deal.

Since it is levity which is the seed of inspiration, these works make use of visual puns. The bull has maximum scrotal circumference because it takes “ balls ” to work the markets, and when ranchers buy bulls, this is the most important measurement. The bear has a cute bear bum, because sometimes you have to “ cover yours ” if you want to survive. To hold the entire market in the palm of your hand is a powerful value. Name your price Dear Trader, these works are for you to enjoy, in prosperity and good health.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor

-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Publish books and live smarter

Indulge me on this one and maybe I'll tell you a tale, a story populated by prancing pirates and sensitive cannibals. not likely ! At this publisher’s house we deal only with the big picture stories, important works of ultra educational literature. So word to the hopeful, don’t pester me with insipidity, if you have something that’s really good, I’ll look. If I send you a rejection slip, it’s going to have instructions for how to get an isbn so you can do this publishing thing for yourself. You see, that is what I’ve been doing, and now I have my own imprint. Publishers often whine about it being a tough business, and maybe that’s true, but at this point I’d like to weigh in on the discussion. It seems to me that the industry is polarizing, big house media conglomerates on one hand, and a plethora of little houses just trying to eek a living on the other hand. It seems to me that we all have to pull together a little bit. We have to produce lean, high quality material, we also must find inventive ways to bring our work to the public. A book is a form of treasure! This was true, when King Francis I established the original legal deposit library, it is just as true today. I sell books to stores, libraries, schools, and individuals; from my website, and out of my backpack. My house is as good as it’s titles. Would that our industry adopt my standards and practices, we might well save trees, and space in landfills.

I'm proud of my latest publication, ‘ Delicious Chicken Soup’ by Andrey Durbach. We had the launch at Barbara-Jo's Books to Cooks, and it was most successful. This childrens book for ages 8-188, teaches all people, young and old, how to make delicious chicken soup properly from scratch. In light of our current economic circumstances, I'd argue that this work is more important than the Gutenberg bible. This is not chicken soup for your soul, it is chicken soup for your whole, to nourish your body and keep you alive.

Reviews:
“Sublime, Literally”
-William Gibson
Globe and Mail Review
-Rebecca Tay
CBC radio
-Margaret Gallagher
Scout Magazine
-Michelle Sproule
Available:
at quality bookstores
and from my publishing house
http://libraryeditions.com
*wholesale to the trade

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

the moon revisited

‘‘There's a rocketship leaves here
each day at noon,
not too expensive,
it goes to the moon.
Where it's lovely to picnic,
on warm days, in June...
But In July and August
there are too many damn tourists.

There's a rocketship leaves here
each evening at nine
it goes to the moon,
There's great places to dine.
On pairings of cheese
and white lunar wine.
And its more fun with you...
so don't freak out”

Further to previous lunar exploration; this work represents the face of the moon, carved by my hand using diamonds and water, in a lovely piece of picture jasper. On the darkside you can see a cutaway exposing the tide controls, hinting at the solution to the exquisite mystery of the lunar connection to the tide; the local motion found in all water, including seas and lakes, ponds and rivers, even the water found in the cells of plants and the blood which moves through our veins. Little wonder the ancients established a link between the moon and our emotional state, that the study of the moon lead to the first attempts at understanding madness and romantic love. Currently I’m over the moon, but promise to show you the rabbit after my next visit.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

collection : Jess Sarber

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmix. copy cats are dirty rats

Robert Chaplin Vs Garry Kasparov

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, the world was a place where tall tales reigned supreme and great men walked upon the earth. These great men ascended by virtue of their gifts, focus, and dedication; lumberjacks, steel drivin’ men, and chess masters. Now I'm an ordinary man, I make things, and some of them turn out well. This chess set I’ve designed in Lego seems to fit that bill, and this is me getting my ass kicked by Garry Kasparov.
The really cool thing about playing Kasparov is that, you can have no expectation of victory, so there's no pressure. He started playing chess when he was a very little boy. Kasparov’s young mind wrapped itself around the secrets of the game, and this process formed the consciousness of the man sitting across the table from me. The thing about focus on a single activity at a young age, is that it creates people who can do things very well, and this experience can inform lateral thinking. Garry Kasparov has retired from professional chess and is now active in Russian politics, his understanding of situations is sublime.

I flew to Toronto to meet Kasparov and deliver his Lego chess set; this happened on Monday morning, it came about because my family loves me, and I’ve made some damn good friends. I taught Kasparov the secrets of Lego chess, how to take the set apart , put it away, and how to move the men using the piece picker. From Kasparov, I learned about the traditional board orientation, and that you can’t castle out of check. Getting a lesson, and high praise from a giant feels pretty good :) Nothing can replace the play of chess, in real time, on an actual set, with an actual human. Now you can play chess like Kasparov, anywhere, anytime.



Photo Credit 1: Taralea Cutler
Photo Credit 2: Peter Lattimer

articles
Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor
Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor
to: robertchaplin{at}lightspeed{dot}ca
$ 420.00 * price includes shipping


My suit: Modernize Tailors.
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

‘Real Wooden Robot’ ...Oh Canada

Oh Canada! I’m not political, and today I had to exercise my legal right to participate in an advanced democracy. I don’t support any political parties, and I have publicly admitted to ballot spoiling. I always make a drawing on my ballot, with the secret hope that one day a ballot counter will exercise some lateral thinking and “collect” some art. This election was no different than the last one, however... After reviewing the quality of this election’s candidates, I was struck by the notion that , Democracy is alright, but we really ought to use some softer paper for the ballots. I don’t understand why the whole process is not electronic.

Now everybody say, “ Real Wooden Robot ” five times fast, it's even harder than Chinese arithmetic.‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ is contemporary treen, old timey, made from wood, ‘cause wood is good. Constructed with the finest tree fort craftsmanship; ‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ is a working machine, it will open your beer. Fully articulated for freestanding domestic work, suitable for the tasteful decoration of any home or office; ‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ doesn’t make boring speeches, or recommend Crown commissions. ‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ does what it does, It opens beer, and validates the good feelings of all people everywhere. Finally, unlike elections, with paper ballots and cardboard booths,‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ has a very small ecological footprint, simply owning one gets you valuable carbon credits. So you can feel less guilty about driving a gas sucking pig, pouring your old turpentine down the sink, or spoiling your ballot.

I got some help building my Robot from Val. Val knows how to use a saw to cut big wood, and manages the workshop across from the Chapel. Val likes the things I make and had a good laugh when she saw the The Real Wooden Robot ’ finished.

Photo Credit: Laurie MacMillan

-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

HOT POTATO aka Old Four Eyes

The ‘Hot Potato’ has four eyes, and sees
through lies, and answers questions which arise...


What is Hematite ?
What is the Eye of Horus ?
What are the fashions in Potato Bug Country ?
What is the Hot Potato Game ?
What is the Illuminati ?
Who are the Freemasons ?
What is Mr Potato Feeling ?
Where can I find a good optometrist ?
Where can I study conspiracy theory ?
When is Now ?
Why is that freaky eye and pyramid on the backside of a greenback ?
How do I grow a potato ?
How do I build a spud gun ?

This objet d'art, in hematite, was carved by my hand using diamonds and water.
A mysterious process indeed.



photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats