Good Books Well Made

This is the coat of arms of the Alcuin society, the motto is Latin for “good books well made”. The Alcuin Society recognizes excellence in book design with an annual competition. Mostly in celebration of fine books and rare letterpress productions, the chief exception being the children’s books category. All of the publishers in Canada submit their kids books to this competition, this year there was 53 titles in the running. I submitted ‘Brussels Sprouts & Unicorns’ and am pleased to report that it placed first. Thanks to Sian Pairaudeau, and Scott Hawthorn, for helping me publish this book. Also, thanks to Leah Gordon for organizing the competition.

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

Goat, Judas Goat

I painted a text mural at Judas Goat Taberna. It's Gastown, what can I say, who can argue with Blood Alley ? it's a great place. Interesting views of the city's very own ornamental hermitage, from the comfort of clean well lit spaces, and fine dining. My writing sometimes poses difficulty for the uninitiated so the following comprises the body of text; it speaks to the problems faced by judas goats, when government regulations protect corporate interests, with respect to food production.

Goat, Judas Goat. Pleased to meet you. Welcome to my place. Please sit down, have a drink, and a bite to eat. Enjoy yourself, relax. You deserve it. It’s rough out there, and I ought to know. I had a nervous breakdown, victim of my own success really. On stress leave, and thinking about rolling this into a sweet retirement. It was simple back in the day, when farmers were allowed gate sales, the meat you ate came from one animal. Every so often I would lead a herd of spring lamb to the truck or a few cows to the slaughterhouse. Things got busy later, operations got bigger, increased demand and I was working steady, every day busy. The money was good, up at Seven, get my stink on, take a load of sheep to the truck, move 30 head of cattle, break for lunch, then back for more cows, a coffee, a few more sheep, and knock off at five for a cold one. Like I said, the money was good. Then one day, THEN ONE DAY!! The government changed the laws, no more gate sales, each and every animal slaughtered had to be taken to an abattoir. I was working insane hours. No lunch. No coffee. They upsized and I was head of the largest department in history. Crazy making. Up at four thirty, meet the team by teleconference. Each moving six hundred head of cattle by seven. Don’t even mention the sheep. Millions, literally. The stress was giving me an ulcer. By the time the cows went nuts, I walked. We take it slow here, it’s peaceful. The food is good. The company is excellent.

Globe Review
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

GANjA CLAUSE - ISBN 1-894897-11-0

GANjA CLAUSE: THE GREEN MAN
A TWENTY-FiRST CENTURY ADDiTiON TO THE HiNDU PANTHEON

Not wanting to acquire cannabinoid induced schizophrenia, I gave up the leaf for Lent. That said, at one point I studied art history and learned how to write in the academic style. Having always been interested in the Green Man, it seemed appropriate to make this version, like some baked hybrid of Bob Marley & The Bhagwan. This hard stone objet d’art was carved by my hand using diamonds and water. Made from a Shiv lingam, it represents a personification of the hemp plant, for these reasons it would be reasonable to make claim that.This green man, ‘Ganja Clause’, is the western most incarnation of Shiva. Through morphological, theological, and whimsical associations ‘Ganja Clause’ makes a fitting contemporary addition to Hindu mythology.

Morphology:
Fertility is associated with Shiva, and the phallus or lingam is accepted as a symbol of Shiva *. ‘Ganja Clause’ was carved from a Shiv-lingam, a stone, composed of crypto-crystaline quartz.These stones are found only in the Narmada river in India, a sacred site of pilgrimage **. The stones are only accessible in the dry season and are hand shaped to harmonious proportions. The shape represents the male principal, Lingam*. The coloration in the stone occurs naturally and represents the female principal, Yoni*. When carving ‘Ganja Clause’, I worked with the natural coloration of the stone to accentuate the design. The red end and yellow banding in the stone were incorporated into a hat; while the bulk of the stone, being green, was used to define the visage and hempy hair.
* Roy C Craven
*Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom
* Vatsayana/Burton
*ibid

Theology:
Cannabis use is associated with Shiva in the Hindu Religion.*
The Hindu God head is composed of Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu. Brahma the creator, Shiva the destroyer, and Vishnu the preserver. Shiva is the god, in whose domain exists all manner of calamity and good time. The ritual use of cannabis in combination with tantric sex originates at some point in medieval India. Vedic scripture makes mention of a sacred nectar, Amrita. This may have originally been a species of psychedelic mushroom, but was replaced by cannabis between the 7th -11th centuries*. The marijuana is mixed into a yogurt milkshake called a bhang-lasse, and combined with yoga and tantric sex.
* Schultes, Hofman
* Aldrich

Whimsy:
Ganja Clause is the western most incarnation of Shiva, he has two green thumbs. Thumbs up for the crop, Thumbs down for the law. Green and leafy are his dreads and beard, his hempy hat is red and gold. Ganja Clause has a secret grow-op located in the far west, where his little helpers Tokey, Munchie, and Giggles, help to harvest and separate the buds from the shake. After each harvest Ganja Clause loads up his El Camino and delivers to all the good boys and girls. Ganja Clause is far too busy to check any lists, so everyone remember to be nice please. Ganja Clause is winking because he has a Mrs. Ganja Clause, who is a juicy fruit, just like Watermelon. *

Bibliography:

* Roy C Craven
Indian Art. p16
Thames and Hudson Ltd. London, 1976
ISBN O-5OO-2O146-3
* Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom
Lucasfilm, 1984
* The Kama Sutra of Vatsayana
Translated by Richard Burton 18OO

* Richard Evans Schultes, Albert Hofmann
Plants of the Gods, p 92
Healing Arts Press, Rochester, VT, 1992
ISBN O89281-979-O
*Aldrich, Michael R.
tantric Cannabis Use in India.
J. Psychedelic Drugs 9(3):227-233. 1977

* Watermelon
Cannabis Culture, #5O: Cover. 2OO4
Vancouver, BC.
ISSN 1497-8237
* Watermelon
High Times, #3O1: Cover. 2OOO
New York, NY.
ISSN O362-63OX


robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmiv. copy cats are dirty rats

Brussels Sprout Magic (contemporary art as genre)

‘The Brussels Sprout Testimonial’ isbn 1-894897-09-9

“Sing and shout and dance about,

there's magic in the Brussels sprout,

boiled up and served in butter,
baked into a pie,

I love to eat the Brussels sprout,

to go without would make me cry.

Have faith and never ever doubt,

there's magic in the Brussels sprout,

in cheese sauce or in minestrone,

I will stand and Testify,

I love to eat the Brussels sprout,

to go without I'd rather die!” *

This Sterling Silver Brussels Sprout was given out as an annual award by my excellent friend Barbara-Jo. To honour the chef who made the best cookbook. This award began in 2007, and was given to:
Matthew Stowe, ‘ The Tastes of Sonora Resort ’
Jennifer McLagan,‘ Fat: An Appreciation of a Misunderstood Ingredient, With Recipes ’
John Bishop, ‘ Simply Bishop’s ’
Vikram Vij, ‘Vij’s: ‘ Elegant and Inspired Indian Cuisine ’

This precious metal vegetable is also made available to private collectors. To order yours and become a silver sprout farmer, simply contact me by email robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

photo credit: Jennifer McLagan

*-rhyme available in ‘Brussels Sprouts & Unicorns- library edition’
-© Robert Chaplin admmx. copy cats are dirty rats

PROOViNG THE EXiSTENCE OF UNiCORNS

Testimonial evidence of Brussels Sprouts and Proof of the existence of Unicorns. They Live in Canada, & once you've sworn the oath you will be able to see Unicorns in the most surprising places, My friend Sian saw one at the passport office ! In any event, the book launch was a success. To see more Brussels Sprouts and Unicorns please visit www.libraryeditions.com

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

OFFiCiAL SELECTiON

Ten Counting Cat -The motion picture from robert chaplin on Vimeo.

This is the Michigan Theatre, it’s in Ann Arbor Michigan. Home of the world renowned Ann Arbor Film Festival. I was very lucky to be able to attend this festival, as it so happened to be that my film, ‘Ten Counting Cat-the motion picture’ was selected for screening. This was the world premiere of my first film, and my first film festival. Over the course of a week I met many excellent people and made friends in Ann Arbor. When in Ann Arbor I stayed at the home of Roland Neynaber, a most excellent host. I fell in love with the community, this was a truly unforgettable experience...

I had help making my film and would like to thank those people on my blog. Hobo Divine, Bill Schwarz, Lisa Ovens, Laurie MacMillan, Scott Bucsis, Sue Hill, Lorne Jee, Blessing Mubaiwa, Clayton Gunguwo, Lance Burger, Bardel Animation and The NFB. I could not have attended the film festival if it had not been for the generosity of my excellent friend, patron, & partner in crime, Lisa Southam.

Photo Credit: Roland Neynaber
robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

THE ANCESTORS LiKED iT, WE STiLL DO

Elegance, it would be my greatest pleasure to express, in stone and theme, the feelings which move us to rapture, peals of laughter, tears of joy, and quiet satisfaction. However, this post concerns much darker magic. And so, let’s cast our thoughts to more occult practices, shamanism, and the markets...

Upon close inspection, beyond the mathematics and technical jargon, the markets are filled with rich mythology. The language of magic, superstition abound. A “ dead cat bounce ” happens after a stock has hit bottom, but before it goes completely flat.“ The Bear ” is the market going down , “ The Bull ” is the market going up. Then there is the “ triple witching hour ”, on “ triple witching day ” , when all hell breaks loose. Face reality, market speculation is a form of gambling; so if you’re going down that path, you will need all the luck you can muster, and the stones to follow the timeless edict, “ buy when there is blood in the street” -Baron Rothschild

These carvings in hematite, were made by my hand, using diamonds and water. This bear and bull are talismans, animist representations of the binary godhead of the market. They are carved in three dimensional relief and signed by my trademark. Please note, the peaceful and joyous expressions. Free from the anxiety, which has of late caused the ruin of many traders: the bull is at peace because selling gives one liquid freedom, the bear is happy because the sweetness of the trade is determined at the point of purchase, the good deal.

Since it is levity which is the seed of inspiration, these works make use of visual puns. The bull has maximum scrotal circumference because it takes “ balls ” to work the markets, and when ranchers buy bulls, this is the most important measurement. The bear has a cute bear bum, because sometimes you have to “ cover yours ” if you want to survive. To hold the entire market in the palm of your hand is a powerful value. Name your price Dear Trader, these works are for you to enjoy, in prosperity and good health.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca

Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor

-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Publish books and live smarter

Indulge me on this one and maybe I'll tell you a tale, a story populated by prancing pirates and sensitive cannibals. not likely ! At this publisher’s house we deal only with the big picture stories, important works of ultra educational literature. So word to the hopeful, don’t pester me with insipidity, if you have something that’s really good, I’ll look. If I send you a rejection slip, it’s going to have instructions for how to get an isbn so you can do this publishing thing for yourself. You see, that is what I’ve been doing, and now I have my own imprint. Publishers often whine about it being a tough business, and maybe that’s true, but at this point I’d like to weigh in on the discussion. It seems to me that the industry is polarizing, big house media conglomerates on one hand, and a plethora of little houses just trying to eek a living on the other hand. It seems to me that we all have to pull together a little bit. We have to produce lean, high quality material, we also must find inventive ways to bring our work to the public. A book is a form of treasure! This was true, when King Francis I established the original legal deposit library, it is just as true today. I sell books to stores, libraries, schools, and individuals; from my website, and out of my backpack. My house is as good as it’s titles. Would that our industry adopt my standards and practices, we might well save trees, and space in landfills.

I'm proud of my latest publication, ‘ Delicious Chicken Soup’ by Andrey Durbach. We had the launch at Barbara-Jo's Books to Cooks, and it was most successful. This childrens book for ages 8-188, teaches all people, young and old, how to make delicious chicken soup properly from scratch. In light of our current economic circumstances, I'd argue that this work is more important than the Gutenberg bible. This is not chicken soup for your soul, it is chicken soup for your whole, to nourish your body and keep you alive.

Reviews:
“Sublime, Literally”
-William Gibson
Globe and Mail Review
-Rebecca Tay
CBC radio
-Margaret Gallagher
Scout Magazine
-Michelle Sproule
Available:
at quality bookstores
and from my publishing house
http://libraryeditions.com
*wholesale to the trade

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

the moon revisited

‘‘There's a rocketship leaves here
each day at noon,
not too expensive,
it goes to the moon.
Where it's lovely to picnic,
on warm days, in June...
But In July and August
there are too many damn tourists.

There's a rocketship leaves here
each evening at nine
it goes to the moon,
There's great places to dine.
On pairings of cheese
and white lunar wine.
And its more fun with you...
so don't freak out”

Further to previous lunar exploration; this work represents the face of the moon, carved by my hand using diamonds and water, in a lovely piece of picture jasper. On the darkside you can see a cutaway exposing the tide controls, hinting at the solution to the exquisite mystery of the lunar connection to the tide; the local motion found in all water, including seas and lakes, ponds and rivers, even the water found in the cells of plants and the blood which moves through our veins. Little wonder the ancients established a link between the moon and our emotional state, that the study of the moon lead to the first attempts at understanding madness and romantic love. Currently I’m over the moon, but promise to show you the rabbit after my next visit.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

collection : Jess Sarber

robertchaplin (at) lightspeed (dot) ca
-© Robert Chaplin admmix. copy cats are dirty rats

Robert Chaplin Vs Garry Kasparov

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, the world was a place where tall tales reigned supreme and great men walked upon the earth. These great men ascended by virtue of their gifts, focus, and dedication; lumberjacks, steel drivin’ men, and chess masters. Now I'm an ordinary man, I make things, and some of them turn out well. This chess set I’ve designed in Lego seems to fit that bill, and this is me getting my ass kicked by Garry Kasparov.
The really cool thing about playing Kasparov is that, you can have no expectation of victory, so there's no pressure. He started playing chess when he was a very little boy. Kasparov’s young mind wrapped itself around the secrets of the game, and this process formed the consciousness of the man sitting across the table from me. The thing about focus on a single activity at a young age, is that it creates people who can do things very well, and this experience can inform lateral thinking. Garry Kasparov has retired from professional chess and is now active in Russian politics, his understanding of situations is sublime.

I flew to Toronto to meet Kasparov and deliver his Lego chess set; this happened on Monday morning, it came about because my family loves me, and I’ve made some damn good friends. I taught Kasparov the secrets of Lego chess, how to take the set apart , put it away, and how to move the men using the piece picker. From Kasparov, I learned about the traditional board orientation, and that you can’t castle out of check. Getting a lesson, and high praise from a giant feels pretty good :) Nothing can replace the play of chess, in real time, on an actual set, with an actual human. Now you can play chess like Kasparov, anywhere, anytime.



Photo Credit 1: Taralea Cutler
Photo Credit 2: Peter Lattimer

articles
Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor
Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor
to: robertchaplin{at}lightspeed{dot}ca
$ 420.00 * price includes shipping


My suit: Modernize Tailors.
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

‘Real Wooden Robot’ ...Oh Canada

Oh Canada! I’m not political, and today I had to exercise my legal right to participate in an advanced democracy. I don’t support any political parties, and I have publicly admitted to ballot spoiling. I always make a drawing on my ballot, with the secret hope that one day a ballot counter will exercise some lateral thinking and “collect” some art. This election was no different than the last one, however... After reviewing the quality of this election’s candidates, I was struck by the notion that , Democracy is alright, but we really ought to use some softer paper for the ballots. I don’t understand why the whole process is not electronic.

Now everybody say, “ Real Wooden Robot ” five times fast, it's even harder than Chinese arithmetic.‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ is contemporary treen, old timey, made from wood, ‘cause wood is good. Constructed with the finest tree fort craftsmanship; ‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ is a working machine, it will open your beer. Fully articulated for freestanding domestic work, suitable for the tasteful decoration of any home or office; ‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ doesn’t make boring speeches, or recommend Crown commissions. ‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ does what it does, It opens beer, and validates the good feelings of all people everywhere. Finally, unlike elections, with paper ballots and cardboard booths,‘ The Real Wooden Robot ’ has a very small ecological footprint, simply owning one gets you valuable carbon credits. So you can feel less guilty about driving a gas sucking pig, pouring your old turpentine down the sink, or spoiling your ballot.

I got some help building my Robot from Val. Val knows how to use a saw to cut big wood, and manages the workshop across from the Chapel. Val likes the things I make and had a good laugh when she saw the The Real Wooden Robot ’ finished.

Photo Credit: Laurie MacMillan

-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

HOT POTATO aka Old Four Eyes

The ‘Hot Potato’ has four eyes, and sees
through lies, and answers questions which arise...


What is Hematite ?
What is the Eye of Horus ?
What are the fashions in Potato Bug Country ?
What is the Hot Potato Game ?
What is the Illuminati ?
Who are the Freemasons ?
What is Mr Potato Feeling ?
Where can I find a good optometrist ?
Where can I study conspiracy theory ?
When is Now ?
Why is that freaky eye and pyramid on the backside of a greenback ?
How do I grow a potato ?
How do I build a spud gun ?

This objet d'art, in hematite, was carved by my hand using diamonds and water.
A mysterious process indeed.



photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Hello Ookpik, my old friend.

There was a time in this fair land when the arctic influences ran wild, as a child, it seemed that I couldn't turn around without spying Ookpik. Ookpiks everywhere, made from just about everything, once I even saw an Ookpik made from a taxidermied caribou rump. And then, one day when I wasn't looking, Ookpik disappeared. Whatever happened to Ookpik ? When I pulled this rock from the Bulkley River, in northern BC, I thought I saw my old friend Ookipik. Carved by my hand from felthispasic sandstone, this piece has a natural quartz ring separating the head from the body. It was glued together at creation, by mother nature, using the heat and the pressure which made the world. Notes: Ookpik is Inuktitut for Snowy Owl; to find out more about snowy owls, arctic art history, and arctic culture, simply follow the links.
Snowy Owls: hinterland who's who
Inuktitut syllabary ᑎᑎᕋᐅᓯᖅ ᓄᑕᐊᖅ
Jeannie Snowball ate an Ookpik
* footnote Douglas Coupland
Arctic Studies, Smithsonian
* Hobo Divine

photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

The Double Dingle Jingle Plunger - For those with aural fixations: isbn 0-968818-30-7

Is there a plumber in the house ? Way back in the days of my great grandfather M. Duchamp put a toilet in a museum and called it art. Citing this precedent, I figured that I could possibly put a plunger, in the national library and call it a book...so I did. At the turn of the century, I published an actual toilet plunger, complete with jingle bells, an ISBN, and a piece of potty poetry bound to the handle with an elastic band. If you click on ‘The Double Dingle Jingle Plunger’ you can see the actual catalogue information at Library and archives Canada.

Behold, and witness the miracle of creation. Cast in solid bronze, complete with copper clapper; this is the 10th anniversary edition of, ‘The Double Dingle Jingle Plunger’. Not wanting to have my acheivement eclipsed by the Vancouver 2010 Olympics, I'm releasing this a year early. A perfectly pitched potty plunger for your perusal and quiet enjoyment.



Powered by : Salt
Copper Clapper Casting : Jesse Sarber
Photo Credit: Lara Hill


* newspaper article Edmonton Journal
Photograph by
Kirsten Reite

What is the difference ?

Between Craft and Art ? I know, and this is it. A craftsman works in one tradition, achieving perfection through skill and artifice. An artist works with whatever is available and does the best he can. I'm not a craftsman, although my work may be well crafted. I see equal value in form and content, and believe a work must have at least enough of each, to achieve the basic objective. To satisfy this premise, “a good work of art needs only to simultaneously stimulate and relax the mind” - Charles Murray Chaplin. And so, I present this piece, an organic exploration, carved by my hand using diamonds and water, in mushroom green adventurine quartz. This work represents the mythological synthesis of sexuality, an hermaphrodite*. Like some strange creature living beneath the sea, neither animal nor vegetable, but something like both. This work provides gentle humour and fascination to some who pick it up, while perplexing, and disturbing those inhibited or weak of mind. This sculpture was collected by my excellent friend Melanie Carlson, who uses it as litmus test, to gauge compatibility of humour.
*It seems the term “hermaphrodite”, when applied to people, is both inaccurate and offensive. For persons who live in the physiological spectrum between genders, the correct term is “intersex”. Although these persons would probably prefer to be called by their actual names.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Flying Bird... Saying Goodbye is Hard

In mythology, the Soul, or Atman is represented by a bird. And so I made this ring design, a bird in flight, in rose gold. I've posted it today, to honour the memory of Fenwick Lansdowne.

Fenwick Lansdowne was my colleague, a fellow rca, sadly now he is gone. Fenwick spent his childhood in a Japanese prison camp, he contracted polio, and lost the use of one side of his body. Fenwick raised a family and painted birds perfectly. Fenwick began painting birds while very young, and he finished at almost seventy-one. A life well lived indeed !

photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Testimonial Evidence

Happy Birthday Anne Ainsley ! my friend, whose simply mad about Romans. This piece which I've made in Basalt, Tourmaline, 18karat gold, and an actual Roman coin, has been commissioned, Thanks to our beloved Dodo.

The coin was minted under Philip the Arab, the pagan warrior,
who ruled Rome from 244-249 AD. The Basalt carving was done by my hand; it represents ‘The Black Sun’, wonder of the ancients, the solar eclipse. In concert, these two items form a unique pendant, and provide testimonial evidence that ancient Romans enjoyed holidays in British Columbia. It is a well understood fact that Roman Emperors and high ranking citizens used to work in AD and vacation in BC. Coincidentally, the basalt on which this design is carved, was formed in BC and found in beautiful British Columbia.

In order to produce this work I had help from, my friend and colleague, Karen Morrow . I provided her with my basalt carving, tourmalines, the roman coin, and a working sketch. After some time, consideration, and effort, the resulting work of art shines in perfect existence, the evidence is right before your eyes.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Danish Modern Travel Chess

Lego is a toy, a wonderful, whimsical, readymade way to create things. And so, I've designed this actual sized travel chess, in Lego. It's contemporary art, built from recycled Lego, each set is unique and made to be permanent. The Lego has been welded together to form a board table and independent chess pieces. The game pieces are all stored inside the board table. The pieces use Lego technology to defy gravity, sticking them to the board. Play chess like Kasparov. Play on trains and in automobiles, space shuttle cruises and trips to the moon. Anytime, anywhere, the game is yours.

-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

photo credit: Peter Lattimer

Globe and Mail
-Timothy Taylor

The Kinder Gentler Knuckle Duster

I'm no Angel and sometimes I find myself impecunious.

It usually seems though, that someone requires my services at these times, and once my friend Idar commissioned me to carve this bad ass skull ring. After I completed the master; Idar made a mould and finished one for his client in white gold, using black stones for the eyes. Afterwards Idar sent the mould to me and I made this one in rose gold. I've sold a few of these to really excellent people, I cast each ring on an individual basis and then carve and finish them by my hand. In this manner I can maintain the highest standards of quality, while providing original and beautiful work.

-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats

Photo Credit: Femke Van Delft

Spirit Bear aka Kid in a Bearsuit

Carved this in Hematite aka Alaskan Black diamond.
Used diamonds and water. It turned out rather good and so I posted it for you to look at.
This piece was inspired by two of my favorite artists.
Hobo Divine, for the whimsy of his dream journals.
Andrea Tucker, for her kid in animal suit paintings.

photo credit: Peter Lattimer
-Copy Cats are Dirty Rats